Hi Ms. Sueoka,
thanks for the comment on my pre-assessment. I do realize that i needed more details. My only problem is thinking of it and thinking of it on the spot. Plus, sometimes i think that i put way too much details and take out the important details that I should've kept. Also, I have a problem with the wording on my details, I usually get stuck on one word and i would keep repeating that word. I think with your help, I can learn how to make my essays come alive and let the reader experience what i was experiencing.
once again, thank you. Its good to know what I need to work on.
Querencia essay draft
I walked up the soft, brown stairs, my legs heavy and my arms sagging down from my shoulder. I had a long and crazy day at school. All I could think of was going into my room and sleeping but I knew I couldn’t sleep yet. I had homework to do and I had chores to do. When I walked in, there on the floor, was already a piece of mess I had left behind from the morning. I shook my head and picked it up and threw it somewhere inside the room. I was in no mood to clean up.
My room always felt different from the rest of the world. It’s a feeling that lets me show my true personality. When I’m outside my room, I’m usually a different person. Once the door closes, I let myself run loose and run free. When I’m happy, I’m listening to music and dancing. When I’m mad, I pace around the room, thinking about how I can let it out without hurting anyone. When I’m sad, I’m lying on my bed, face down, letting the pillow absorb the tears that are escaping my eyes.
Every emotion I’ve had has been captured by this room. When I’m tired, there’s the scattered pillows and blanket to show. The socks, t-shirts, shorts, and jeans all over the floor is from when I’m rushing to leave the house in the morning. I wouldn’t have time to even put my clothes back to how neatly folded it was before. Then there is the mess of papers and books next to my desk, some probably from my middle school days or even my elementary. I would be a school “nerd”, just sitting on my desk and doing my home work. When I finish, it would be too late into the night to grab my books and put it away neatly. The way my desk is arranged shows a time that I was “OCD” because everything is straight and my books are set is from biggest to smallest. There are the pictures on the wall that have some of my best memories.
This isn’t only my room; it’s my older sister’s too. Actually, it was once owned by 3 of my sisters. Yes, it’s amazing to fit so much people, yet alone, so much bed in one room. And it wasn’t a big room either. Then once the oldest one moved out for college, it was just for two people. Then the next oldest left and finally, I was allowed to move in. I was happy, even though it wasn’t my own. I had my own place. A place to call “my room”, my sister wasn’t that happy I was moving in but she dealt with it and later found that it’s actually interesting to share a room with me. Mostly because, outside of our room, we constantly fight but once were inside, we share everything with each other, our secrets and our problems. She helps me with my problems and I do the same with her. We both keep each other’s secrets from anyone else, especially our parents.
The fact that so much of us have used this room, I feel that this room has many secrets and many memories, happy, sad, and even mad memories. A lot of things happened in here and all of us know what it is. Every mess, every scratch, every object, and every filth means something in this room. And now, it means a lot to me, they all indicate a feeling I’ve had.
My room always felt different from the rest of the world. It’s a feeling that lets me show my true personality. When I’m outside my room, I’m usually a different person. Once the door closes, I let myself run loose and run free. When I’m happy, I’m listening to music and dancing. When I’m mad, I pace around the room, thinking about how I can let it out without hurting anyone. When I’m sad, I’m lying on my bed, face down, letting the pillow absorb the tears that are escaping my eyes.
Every emotion I’ve had has been captured by this room. When I’m tired, there’s the scattered pillows and blanket to show. The socks, t-shirts, shorts, and jeans all over the floor is from when I’m rushing to leave the house in the morning. I wouldn’t have time to even put my clothes back to how neatly folded it was before. Then there is the mess of papers and books next to my desk, some probably from my middle school days or even my elementary. I would be a school “nerd”, just sitting on my desk and doing my home work. When I finish, it would be too late into the night to grab my books and put it away neatly. The way my desk is arranged shows a time that I was “OCD” because everything is straight and my books are set is from biggest to smallest. There are the pictures on the wall that have some of my best memories.
This isn’t only my room; it’s my older sister’s too. Actually, it was once owned by 3 of my sisters. Yes, it’s amazing to fit so much people, yet alone, so much bed in one room. And it wasn’t a big room either. Then once the oldest one moved out for college, it was just for two people. Then the next oldest left and finally, I was allowed to move in. I was happy, even though it wasn’t my own. I had my own place. A place to call “my room”, my sister wasn’t that happy I was moving in but she dealt with it and later found that it’s actually interesting to share a room with me. Mostly because, outside of our room, we constantly fight but once were inside, we share everything with each other, our secrets and our problems. She helps me with my problems and I do the same with her. We both keep each other’s secrets from anyone else, especially our parents.
The fact that so much of us have used this room, I feel that this room has many secrets and many memories, happy, sad, and even mad memories. A lot of things happened in here and all of us know what it is. Every mess, every scratch, every object, and every filth means something in this room. And now, it means a lot to me, they all indicate a feeling I’ve had.
Journal #5: Menemac student
A menemac student is a student that has creativity and is comfortable with working in groups. Having creativity allows the student to picture good videos and make the videos look better with effects. Also, it allows the student to create good stories for videos. Creativity, also helps with photoshop projects. A menemac student should also be comfortable with working in groups because to create a video, you would have to work with others and not have problems with it. If there is, then they should be able to solve the problem and be able to produce a quality work.
A menemac student should also be a student that likes to learn new things. In technology, there are always new things coming up and the student needs to learn about it to be able to use technology easily. Also, in learning new things, good stuff will come out of it. A menemac student is also a student that can learn and understand. To understand things, means that they can do it and they can teach it to others. So if they understand a certain program, it means they can use it effectively and they can show others or teach others how to use that.
A menemac student should also be a student that likes to learn new things. In technology, there are always new things coming up and the student needs to learn about it to be able to use technology easily. Also, in learning new things, good stuff will come out of it. A menemac student is also a student that can learn and understand. To understand things, means that they can do it and they can teach it to others. So if they understand a certain program, it means they can use it effectively and they can show others or teach others how to use that.
Journal #9
My novel is Wild Meat and Bully Burgers.
This book is about Lovey's life as she tries to find her identity. She has a Japanese-American family. I think this book relates to cultural/ethnic roots because of how the book was written from Lovey's view. The way that her and friends talk is part of their culture in Hawaii. Where she works is also part of the culture and ethnic roots because, in Hawaii, the Japanese were one of the plantation workers.
"Japanee girls all want haole last names like Smith or Cole"
Lovey is a japanese girl that wants to marry a haole. She wants to be a haole. She isnt very fond of her Japanese culture. In the book, She and her family cannot speak proper english. Her teacher, Mr. Harvey tells her to learn how to speak proper english and learn how to use it all the time.
This book is about Lovey's life as she tries to find her identity. She has a Japanese-American family. I think this book relates to cultural/ethnic roots because of how the book was written from Lovey's view. The way that her and friends talk is part of their culture in Hawaii. Where she works is also part of the culture and ethnic roots because, in Hawaii, the Japanese were one of the plantation workers.
"Japanee girls all want haole last names like Smith or Cole"
Lovey is a japanese girl that wants to marry a haole. She wants to be a haole. She isnt very fond of her Japanese culture. In the book, She and her family cannot speak proper english. Her teacher, Mr. Harvey tells her to learn how to speak proper english and learn how to use it all the time.
Journal #8
My safe places or my favorite place:
1. Our backyard. Its quiet and entertaining. As I sit down on the brown, homemade swing, my dog runs around, playing with himself. I can lay back and stare into the sky and just think.
2. My uncle's backyard.In their backyard, there is a hill and my uncle is in the middle of constructing a house-like area but at the top, he finished and there is chairs up there. Everytime, i go to their house, everyone knew that, that was the place that id be at. I have the shade of the big mango tree, the beautiful view of this side of the island. As the night comes, i can see the city lights coming on, one by one. When i sit up there, i can think clearly and i know who i am and what i want. No one else matters, just me..
3. The park by my house. Soft, thick, and green grass. The small hills i can lie on. When I dont want to be around anyone else and im not at my uncle's house, i go to this place. It allows me to remember all the good times (because this park has nothing but good memories). It relaxes me and calms me down. I can easily make the decision of what my next step will be.
And I choose...... My Uncle's backyard!!
1. Our backyard. Its quiet and entertaining. As I sit down on the brown, homemade swing, my dog runs around, playing with himself. I can lay back and stare into the sky and just think.
2. My uncle's backyard.In their backyard, there is a hill and my uncle is in the middle of constructing a house-like area but at the top, he finished and there is chairs up there. Everytime, i go to their house, everyone knew that, that was the place that id be at. I have the shade of the big mango tree, the beautiful view of this side of the island. As the night comes, i can see the city lights coming on, one by one. When i sit up there, i can think clearly and i know who i am and what i want. No one else matters, just me..
3. The park by my house. Soft, thick, and green grass. The small hills i can lie on. When I dont want to be around anyone else and im not at my uncle's house, i go to this place. It allows me to remember all the good times (because this park has nothing but good memories). It relaxes me and calms me down. I can easily make the decision of what my next step will be.
And I choose...... My Uncle's backyard!!
essay draft
I smiled at the sight I was seeing. There was chattering and laughter filling the whole pavilion. I could hear my cousins yelling and chasing each other playfully. Then I heard my dad taking out a bag of ice, I looked at him in confusion. He didn’t need so much ice for a drink and he could’ve kept it in the freezer. Then he turned around and took out 3 bottles. One that I recognized immediately from the white, clear cubes, all squeezed in together, it was a bottle of macapuno (sweetened coconut meat). I saw my sisters looking at the same thing as me. We all knew what it was, the ingredients for halo-halo.
My dad took out the rest of the ingredients, all cold. As soon as he took out the shave ice machine I was already next to him with a glass and eager to make mine. But I wasn’t the only one, my sisters and my cousins were next to me too. My dad chuckled; he said “Don’t hurt each other” and walked away. I started filling my cup with the stuff I wanted, first a spoonful of the soft, brown sweetened kidney beans. Next the big, green garbanzos (chickpeas) and the golden yellow slices of langka (jackfruit). Then a spoonful of the small and yellow sweetened corn kernels. I got a cup of ice and poured it in the shave ice machine, as it was grinding, making little pieces of clear ice, a drop of sweat rolled down my head. I could already taste it in my mouth.
I added the shaved ice and poured the condensed milk. I added a portion of the custard on top of it. It was still screaming for something, there was something missing. I knew it right away; I opened the freezer and saw it, ube ice cream. I opened the box and the cold, purple dessert was revealed. I grabbed a spoonful and added in on top of my halo-halo. It was done. Water was trickling down the side of it from the chilly ice. I gulped, my stomach was screaming for it. The colorful bottom, then a huge white part from the ice and on top a big purple piece of creamy ube.
After I finished eating it, I could still taste the ube in my tongue. My mind and my brain were satisfied. I couldn’t help but smile. I looked around and nearly every table in the pavilion had someone eating a glass of halo-halo. I sat down by my dad and he said, “I was afraid to get mobbed by our hungry family, just like how my dad was”. We laughed at the sight of my sister feeding it to my nephew. I couldn’t help but feel the sense of happiness from this day. Mostly because, it was the first time I ate halo-halo in a long time. But also from the happiness that it brought to my family.
My dad took out the rest of the ingredients, all cold. As soon as he took out the shave ice machine I was already next to him with a glass and eager to make mine. But I wasn’t the only one, my sisters and my cousins were next to me too. My dad chuckled; he said “Don’t hurt each other” and walked away. I started filling my cup with the stuff I wanted, first a spoonful of the soft, brown sweetened kidney beans. Next the big, green garbanzos (chickpeas) and the golden yellow slices of langka (jackfruit). Then a spoonful of the small and yellow sweetened corn kernels. I got a cup of ice and poured it in the shave ice machine, as it was grinding, making little pieces of clear ice, a drop of sweat rolled down my head. I could already taste it in my mouth.
I added the shaved ice and poured the condensed milk. I added a portion of the custard on top of it. It was still screaming for something, there was something missing. I knew it right away; I opened the freezer and saw it, ube ice cream. I opened the box and the cold, purple dessert was revealed. I grabbed a spoonful and added in on top of my halo-halo. It was done. Water was trickling down the side of it from the chilly ice. I gulped, my stomach was screaming for it. The colorful bottom, then a huge white part from the ice and on top a big purple piece of creamy ube.
After I finished eating it, I could still taste the ube in my tongue. My mind and my brain were satisfied. I couldn’t help but smile. I looked around and nearly every table in the pavilion had someone eating a glass of halo-halo. I sat down by my dad and he said, “I was afraid to get mobbed by our hungry family, just like how my dad was”. We laughed at the sight of my sister feeding it to my nephew. I couldn’t help but feel the sense of happiness from this day. Mostly because, it was the first time I ate halo-halo in a long time. But also from the happiness that it brought to my family.
transcipt
Recipe:
· langka (jackfruit)
· macapuno (a variety of coconut meat sold in bottles)
· sweetened kidney beans
· sweetened garabanzos
· ube or yam
· custard or creme caramel
· sweetened corn kernels
· crushed ice to fill glass
· a can of condensed milk
· a scoop of ice cream on top
Where did you learn about halo-halo?
-I first learned it when your tatay(my grandpa) brought it out at my 2nd birthday.
What was your first reaction when you tasted this?
-I was amazed that it was so good, I didn’t know anything could taste that good. I couldn’t help but smiile
What is one of the memories you had with it?
-Once my whole family knew about it, my dad was afraid to take out the ingredients because when he does he gets mobbed by the hungry pack of wolves, which is our family. (He chuckled) And now, I’m afraid of the same thing.
Was there any special time you made halo-halo?
-Well for our family, we mostly just use it on special occasions, like on parties or big events like birthdays, new year, or Christmas. I remember making it for you whenever you would cry about something, you’d cheer up right away after that.
Is this food used for special traditions?
-Mostly just for big celebrations
· langka (jackfruit)
· macapuno (a variety of coconut meat sold in bottles)
· sweetened kidney beans
· sweetened garabanzos
· ube or yam
· custard or creme caramel
· sweetened corn kernels
· crushed ice to fill glass
· a can of condensed milk
· a scoop of ice cream on top
Where did you learn about halo-halo?
-I first learned it when your tatay(my grandpa) brought it out at my 2nd birthday.
What was your first reaction when you tasted this?
-I was amazed that it was so good, I didn’t know anything could taste that good. I couldn’t help but smiile
What is one of the memories you had with it?
-Once my whole family knew about it, my dad was afraid to take out the ingredients because when he does he gets mobbed by the hungry pack of wolves, which is our family. (He chuckled) And now, I’m afraid of the same thing.
Was there any special time you made halo-halo?
-Well for our family, we mostly just use it on special occasions, like on parties or big events like birthdays, new year, or Christmas. I remember making it for you whenever you would cry about something, you’d cheer up right away after that.
Is this food used for special traditions?
-Mostly just for big celebrations
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